WORK

Hamburg, Germany

i am restless and discontent. i am maybe the most uncomfortable experience anyone encounters in their lifetime. i am young, talented, and aggressive when i get bored which happens often. i will question you, challenge you, and stare you in the eyes to ask for the truth. enough is never enough. i don’t eat, i don’t sleep, and i don’t sit still. i want to be a better person, i want to make the people around me better people, and i want to change the world. i still don’t know why i want those things, and i don’t do this by being warm and kind. i don’t give hugs (usually) and i still can’t pretend to care if i don’t give a shit. i am impatient and stubborn as hell. i wont lie to make you feel better. if your shirt is ass-ugly i wont tell you i like it. if i am holding a pack of cigarettes in my hand and you ask if i have any for you and i don’t feel like sharing, i will say “no.” i think the rules and the system and the natural order of things are in place for me to study, learn, and fuck with. i believe happiness is for people with small minds who don’t see the whole picture. i think depression is for everyone. if i hate you it means i still care about you and might even be in love with you. if i don’t talk to you, it doesn’t mean i hate you, just that i could care less and that you do not affect me on any level. when i see that something in my life isn’t working, i don’t just fix the one problem and move on. i believe the whole thing is eventually going to break down, pack my suitcase, and literally get on the next plane to wherever. i am not afraid to take a risk. i am not afraid of failure. i welcome it because if i am at risk of failure, it means i am doing something worth doing. i don’t believe that i am special or important. but it is important for me to create things and share ideas, because in the end they are more powerful than any of us will ever be. i believe that the words you say to someone do matter, and if you say just one wrong thing i will remember it forever. i buy beautiful roses and let them die. i eat rotten food and throw it up later alone in the middle of the night because i had nothing else to eat in the house. i don’t call home because i am homesick, but usually because i want something done for me or mailed to me. i don’t live by any strict principles, and don’t impose any of my lifestyle on others. unless for some strange reason i decided i like imposing on you, in which case i will do so with intensity every single day until you cave in. and the one thing i will not allow under any circumstances is for you to get in my way, calm me down, shut me up, or keep me from doing what i want to do. if you do so much as “shhh” at me i might begin to dream of slicing your tongue off.